Delhi to Pilani::via Haryana

On a recent journey from Delhi to Pilani on a Haryana Roadways bus( yeah the most luxurious option that we have on this route), i got a seat beside a decent looking Harayanvi guy. By his looks and specs, he came across as well educated.And then he opened his mouth!!!. He said something to me in harayanvi. . I understood the words, but couldnt get what he exactly meant.
(This a thing with Harayanvis...they look good...they talk shit). I nodded. He went somewhere and got some moongfalli and some other stuff for himself. A little later the journey began. He said he was going to Rohtak.( I never asked him, but no probs).

He started with his moongfallis. I know it is wrong to classify someone as ill-cultured just because he speaks Harayanvi. But i soon realised I was right. Ours was the first seat from the door. I was seating on the window seat. He started throwing his moongfalli peels at the door, all of which landed on my lap. I didnt say anything that time. This was my second journey alone, so i was avoiding getting into any kind of mess. He started smoking. I asked him not to, rather i ordered him not to. Then he put his arm around my head. Each act of his seemed increasingly irritating to me. I animatedly told him to remove his hand. I guess he got his message and rest of the journey we didnt exchange any word. I soon saw a board. It read-" Jaat Education Society Welcomes You". I remembered that board from my first journey alone. ( I had found that board quite amusing-somehow Jaat and education together seems odd). I knew Rohtak was near and this asshole would be off. He smiled at me while leaving. I smiled back.( F*** off Dude).

The bus was overloaded with new passengers. I slept through the next 2 hours. I woke up in Bhiwani. Ok so 2 hours more. The bus would now go to Loharu. It was quite dark now and we by-passed Lohani( i guess as it lies between Loharu and Bhiwani, so the name Lohani) and soon we were in Loharu. An advertisement hoarding read-"Ek ghante mein english seekhe", and there was an address of some English scholar who would teach English to guys and gals...oh sry...laundas and laundiyas( thats how it goes in this part of world) of Loharu in one hour. Well.... good to know. The bus left and I saw a board that read Rajgarh(Rajasthan-Haryana border). I was doubly relieved, one because my phone network was no longer in roaming, secondly because my journey would end in ten minutes. And it did. And thus ended my journey, which i didnt like, but since I would have to make lot of these I guess I would eventually get used to it.

Entertainment Shows

Recently I completed my board and entrance exam s. During the preparation days , i gave up watching movies as they are long and easily consume about 3 hours. For entertainment and some drama, I found out that news channels were super replacements. Here are some of the stories that I saw.
1. "Dhoni ne hila diya"- It was about a earthquake in NewZealand when Indian team had just left for NewZealand. "Team India ke captan Dhoni ke kadam rakhne se pehle hi newzealand sihar utha. Zara sochiye jab team india khelegi to kya halat honge"--Star News

2. "Taliban ka Gajini"-This was an India TV classic. It showed Talibani commander Baitullah Md. with scriptures on body, such as "Benazir is killed", "Destruct America". "Dekhiye kis tarah Baitulah Md. ne apne sharir par apne mission ko likh liya hai."

Jai Jharkhand!!

People from Uttar Pradesh, Bihar, Jharkhand refer to themselves as 'Hum' whereas people from other parts refer to themselves as 'Main'. Technically, i.e, when written on a paper, "main" is correct. When spoken, it's the local 'hindi' that takes precedence. Therefore both are equally correct when spoken. But I have noticed that "Hum" people refer themselves as "Main" when talking to "Main" people. It is simply a case of inferiority complex.
Referring to themselves as "Hum" shows that people from these areas are broad minded, inclusive, think beyond themselves and always think about a plural population. Hence the term "Hum". Whereas "Main' people are self centric, and their thoughts begin and end at themselves. Hence the singular reference "Main".
Ideally, I would make other people talk my way. But at least one should not give up on his/her mannerism that one inhibits from his local environment.
So in keeping with the above theory, I have decided not to change my speaking habits. And urge all hailing from 'our' area to do the same.

A Lesson from Gita

On the last day before the terminal exam, our chemistry teacher was taking a revision class. She asked a boy the definition of 'unit cell'. He responded with some handly gesture and few words. She asked another boy the same question. He replied," Miss unit cell jaan ke kya keejeyega. Aapko kaam ka baat batate hain. Gita mein likha hai ki sach aur jhooth ke beech bas ek ungli ka antar hai. Sach woh hai jo aap aankhon se dekhte hain. Jo aap kano se sunte hain woh jhooth hai. Isliye yeh jo dikhaya(the previous boy) woh sahi hai."
Teacher replied with her trademark PJ. As a ritual, we burst out laughing to teacher's reply. That consumed another 5 minutes.

The Language of Handwriting

Recently, while i was answering my exams, the invigilator walked to me. His name is Anda Sir(don't know what his real name is). He looked at my paper. Little later he remarked," Intelligent students have poor handwriting". I turned back the pages of my answersheet. I realised, I am highly intelligent........

Kick On...

Indian's love for football often surprises me. Why is it that indians are crazy about football. During the recently concluded Euro Cup, I often found my classmates discussing last night' match in the morning. For a common Indian like me, who thinks cricket is the only sport worth watching and Sachin is the only sportsman worth cheering, those discussions were irritating. I remember a new report during last football world cup, showing a congress supporter distributing ladoo after Italy won the world cup!!!
Probably Indians enjoy football more than other sport because they dont have worry about India losing to Pakistan....

Quotes

1. Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours. - Yogi Berra
2. Don't be so humble - you are not that great. - Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat
3. Lady Astor: "Mr. Churchill, you're drunk!" Winston Churchill: "Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober."
4. Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done. - Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855), while working, when informed that his wife is dying
5. A wise man washes his hands after he pees. A wiser man doesn't pee on his hands.
6. "The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault." -Henry Kissinger.
7. "The cocktail party is a device for paying off obligations to people you don't want to invite for dinner." -Charles Smith.
8. "Copy from one, it’s plagiarism; copy from two, it’s research."- Wilson Mizner (1876-1933)
9. "The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his."- General George Patton (1885-1945)
10. "It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument."- William Gibbs McAdoo (1863-1941)