Nothingness

'' I deserve better.''Ravan told himself. On beach, a bottle of breezer in hand, a beer bottle in store. The setup was perfect. He had come prepared. This was going to be a long evening. Alone. All to himself. Like he has always  been. He was sad. He was staring at the beautiful sunset. The sun was setting into the blooded ocean. Sun stabbed the ocean, while she was embracing him. Betrayal.
"Wow!!". Ravan thought. He wanted to see the depressing side of everything. He did fine with the ocean-sun thing. All he wanted to see was murderous humanity at its ugliest. It suited his mood. He saw few bikini-clad firangs. Damn. He turned around.
''Dont look!!! no!!! dont!! You are sad''. He convinced himself.
"Ok, just once''. He compromised. He glanced. And then, he was back to look for the darker side of everything.

Ravan was sad. He had to settle score with God. He had come to talk to God. This was his "Aaj Khush to Bahut Hoge Tum'' moment. Earlier, he left his home, his friends, his parents. (Not much money, he would HAVE to return back,3 hours later). Alone. He walked. He had imagined this before.
 "One day, I will be sad, and walk all the way. Walk, walk and walk. Till I reach the end of world". Fuck! Reality struck him. Forget end-of-the-world.
"This world is spherical." He tried to be logical. First time ever that he had managed to convince anyone. So what, if it was he,  himself.  Settle for the beach instead. Ok. Now what? He let his imagination run wild. Lightning struck him. Damn, he was going to be John Abraham( Jism). YES!! (fist pumping, and all). Firstly, he had to be alcohol-ed. Not much of a transition from asshol-ed, that he already was. This was going to be his first time. He bought a breezer and a beer.

The beach was beautiful. Crowded. He left his idea of being John. Another day. Some common sense, finally. He sat at some distance from the ocean. He was sad. Why?. He wondered. He hadn't flunked any exam. His girlfriend hadn't dumped him. Just sad. He thought for a while. Why was he sad. He had no answers.  Maybe a PMS analog for men. No, didn't seem like it.Fashion. He thought deeper. He understood. A day earlier,  a childhood friend of his, Megha, had put a facebook status-
"Sad.:(:(:(:(:(:(. Life sucks :(:(:(:(:(:(. ". Since then, only thing that seemed to matter to his immediate universe was Megha's sadness. She was pretty. Very pretty. Prettier than his girlfriend. Guys commented. "Awwwww... no dear, life is so beautiful,  just look within to see the beauty of life ". This comment was the benchmark. This had to be beaten. Afterall, she had liked it back. So what, if it didn't make sense. It sounded good. Another comment came in.

"No megha, promise me ur not sad... NO, please, u cannot be sad. Please, for me...smile once."

 "WHYyyyyyyyyyyy???? What happened?? Oh God! I wish I was there take u from the grave of sadness to the bliss of happiness". Another gem of emotional outburst came in, after cross checking from thesaurus. Ridhima, a classmate of her commented."drama, nataunki".

Ravan saw the funnier side of it. He also updated "Sad. Life Sucks". (minus the smileys, to sound a man). No one commented. Finally Megha commented.
"Why dear, dont be sad :)". He wanted to be honest to her. Since then, he had actually tried to be sad. He realised. He wasn't sad. Just foolish. Breezer and beer had brought sanity back. He looked around. The bikini firangs were still there. He stared. The sun was just about to completely sink. It looked beautiful. He tried to see a meaning to it. There's wasn't any. There needn't be any. Somethings just have a nothingness about them. Accept it. Move on. He walked back, humming "Awarapan Banjaarapan".

PS: These are the first lines of the book that I intend to complete at some point of time in my life, hopefully over the next 2 years.